I just need someone to shout me fitter, thinks lazy woman
‘If JK Rowling can do it…’ thinks 85% of the population, 65% of the time, all the time
Shiny teeth make life better, thinks woman with too much time on hands
Occupying pubs, sofas and terraces across the land, the behaviour of these soft-bellied creatures comes in a multitude of flavours. But fret not, The Trashy will guide you through…
Motherhood does strange things to heretofore perfectly sane people, making the school gate a minefield of strung out mothers on…
Humanity hits record-breaking levels of bone-headedness
Time to dig out those sexless knits and surgical tights
‘I coulda been a contender’ muttered Alison Thripp from the cereals aisle in Sainsburys, ‘I coulda been somebody’.
Thinking, breathing, homeostasis? There’s an app for that.
You’ve met the Covert Pervert, the Martyr and the Control Freak. Now shudder at the Garbo, the Foodie and the…
Part one of The Trashy’s Guide to Group Holidays: how not to kill each other
Human bladder struggles to store 20 fluid ounces of milky coffee, woman finds.
Apocalyptic scenes on the A30 as bad weather transforms the south western peninsula into a joyless hell hole.
Society abhors unattractive women, so pretty up!
You find yourself swathed head to toe in Boden
It’s either that or the lighting.
Pissing in a bucket not especially romantic, finds camper.
BBC executives have defended the right to pay women 95% less than their male counterparts because “Ryvita is inexpensive”.
“It was bad enough having to watch Jeremy Corbyn and Michael Eavis’s crusty old love-in”, shuddered Claire Smeech (20) from…
Be cheerful. No one wants a miserable fucker for a colleague so smile aggressively. If you get cramp in…
Give him a blow job and leave him alone.
Perky skinhead Lauren Spink (19) from Bootle spent a harrowing three hours being chased around a carpark by excitable…
Katy Booth from Tynemouth is overjoyed with her new ‘barefaced beauty’ look, but will forego food for a fortnight.