Brexiteers jubilant over deal to export sleighs to Narnia in return for importing animal ornaments and Turkish Delight
Flatpack king’s final wish was to be minced into meatballs and buried in a Sneürg
Vladimir Putin had Melania made from melted down Barbies and state-of-the-art spyware and has been using her to control The Donald since 1998
Awks! Turns out you’ve been wearing your diamond hat wrong all these years
Penurious snowflakes had enough of this shit, decide to eat old people and kick start housing market
Where’s the fun in that? Asks Barrington Quimsby-Naife, MP for Crutton-on-the-Hoof
Chirpy pocket survivalist Bear Grylls is in critical condition after attempting to endure a a night out in Hull
Multi-Coloured Swap Shop star wheeled out of retirement to play Brexit hard ball and get best deal for Britain
Humanity hits record-breaking levels of bone-headedness
‘I coulda been a contender’ muttered Alison Thripp from the cereals aisle in Sainsburys, ‘I coulda been somebody’.
Thinking, breathing, homeostasis? There’s an app for that.
Human bladder struggles to store 20 fluid ounces of milky coffee, woman finds.