10 genuinely scary Halloween costumes

Resist the urge to dress up as a not-very-sexy-if-you’re-honest-with-yourself cat/witch/zombie this Halloween and go as something that will really put the willies up your neighbours (without actually putting willies up your neighbours):

Trashy’s guide to Brexit stockpiling

Gerbils, Pop Tarts and Ecstasy: The Trashy’s guide to Brexit stockpiling will see you through the Age of Stupid

Google algorithm sees into your soul

Google knows what you did last summer, why you did it and who you did it with.

Climate change really fucking with holibobs

Heatwaves, flash floods and forest fires are putting a right downer on Brits abroad who asked merely for a bit of sun, sand and sangria and found themselves swept two thousand miles out to sea in their Vangos or poached alive in their Outwell 500s

Another Valentines Day massacre

Your heart is a stone yet you have to emote desire for someone who you associate mainly with domestic drudgery and poorly wrapped fridge cheese

IKEA founder buried in Sneürg

Flatpack king’s final wish was to be minced into meatballs and buried in a Sneürg

Dry January bores make January even shittier

Crushing bores forego alcohol and ruin already very shitty January

The Ten Commandments of New Year’s Eve

Are you having fun yet? You better bloody had be, it’s New Year’s Eve and it’s the law.

Entire country loses its shit over snow

Frozen water drifts down from the sky causing a nation of simpletons to lose their tiny minds

The morning after the office Christmas party

You were tanked and everyone knows it, you can’t call in sick so you must ride out the world’s most … More

Why you should NEVER attend an office Christmas party

Arriving at the office party is like waking up in Oz, a trippy, off-kilter place where everyone looks familiar, just a lot more disturbing and a lot less tolerable