Resist the urge to dress up as a not-very-sexy-if-you’re-honest-with-yourself cat/witch/zombie this Halloween and go as something that will really put the willies up your neighbours (without actually putting willies up your neighbours):
Gerbils, Pop Tarts and Ecstasy: The Trashy’s guide to Brexit stockpiling will see you through the Age of Stupid
Google knows what you did last summer, why you did it and who you did it with.
Everyone is having a much better holiday than you, social media confirmed today.
Heatwaves, flash floods and forest fires are putting a right downer on Brits abroad who asked merely for a bit of sun, sand and sangria and found themselves swept two thousand miles out to sea in their Vangos or poached alive in their Outwell 500s
Your heart is a stone yet you have to emote desire for someone who you associate mainly with domestic drudgery and poorly wrapped fridge cheese
Flatpack king’s final wish was to be minced into meatballs and buried in a Sneürg
Crushing bores forego alcohol and ruin already very shitty January
Are you having fun yet? You better bloody had be, it’s New Year’s Eve and it’s the law.
Frozen water drifts down from the sky causing a nation of simpletons to lose their tiny minds
You were tanked and everyone knows it, you can’t call in sick so you must ride out the world’s most … More
Arriving at the office party is like waking up in Oz, a trippy, off-kilter place where everyone looks familiar, just a lot more disturbing and a lot less tolerable
Follow The Trashy’s top tips and keep the little suckers at arms-length during one of the most horrifying events in any parent’s calendar
Chirpy pocket survivalist Bear Grylls is in critical condition after attempting to endure a a night out in Hull
Recoil with horror at the fact Halloween’s come around yet again
Where should you sit? Get it wrong and you’ll want to stick spoons through your eyes and into your brain
Time to dig out those sexless knits and surgical tights
“It was bad enough having to watch Jeremy Corbyn and Michael Eavis’s crusty old love-in”, shuddered Claire Smeech (20) from … More