Resist the urge to dress up as a not-very-sexy-if-you’re-honest-with-yourself cat/witch/zombie this Halloween and go as something that will really put the willies up your neighbours (without actually putting willies up your neighbours):
Category: Going out
Trashy’s guide to Brexit stockpiling
Gerbils, Pop Tarts and Ecstasy: The Trashy’s guide to Brexit stockpiling will see you through the Age of Stupid
Google algorithm sees into your soul
Google knows what you did last summer, why you did it and who you did it with.
Everybody having much better holiday than you
Everyone is having a much better holiday than you, social media confirmed today.
Climate change really fucking with holibobs
Heatwaves, flash floods and forest fires are putting a right downer on Brits abroad who asked merely for a bit of sun, sand and sangria and found themselves swept two thousand miles out to sea in their Vangos or poached alive in their Outwell 500s
Another Valentines Day massacre
Your heart is a stone yet you have to emote desire for someone who you associate mainly with domestic drudgery and poorly wrapped fridge cheese
IKEA founder buried in Sneürg
Flatpack king’s final wish was to be minced into meatballs and buried in a Sneürg
Dry January bores make January even shittier
Crushing bores forego alcohol and ruin already very shitty January
The Ten Commandments of New Year’s Eve
Are you having fun yet? You better bloody had be, it’s New Year’s Eve and it’s the law.
Entire country loses its shit over snow
Frozen water drifts down from the sky causing a nation of simpletons to lose their tiny minds
The morning after the office Christmas party
You were tanked and everyone knows it, you can’t call in sick so you must ride out the world’s most … More
Why you should NEVER attend an office Christmas party
Arriving at the office party is like waking up in Oz, a trippy, off-kilter place where everyone looks familiar, just a lot more disturbing and a lot less tolerable
Top 10 tips for surviving children’s birthday parties
Follow The Trashy’s top tips and keep the little suckers at arms-length during one of the most horrifying events in any parent’s calendar
Bear Grylls attempts to survive night out in Hull
Chirpy pocket survivalist Bear Grylls is in critical condition after attempting to endure a a night out in Hull
The horror, the horror! The Trashy’s top five Halloween hacks
Recoil with horror at the fact Halloween’s come around yet again
Surviving the dinner party from hell (part one: seating)
Where should you sit? Get it wrong and you’ll want to stick spoons through your eyes and into your brain
The Trashy’s guide to autumn style
Time to dig out those sexless knits and surgical tights
Kids traumatised after encountering smashed history teacher at Glastonbury
“It was bad enough having to watch Jeremy Corbyn and Michael Eavis’s crusty old love-in”, shuddered Claire Smeech (20) from … More