Everybody having much better holiday than you

Everyone is having a much better holiday than you, social media confirmed today.

Your self esteem is sputtering out because it’s clear that your holidays are complete dog shit compared with everyone else’s and that your few friends are much uglier too.

Everyone is either staying in arse-clenchingly beautiful resorts where the only colours allowed are white and blue or they are experiencing something so fabulously out there you’ve never even heard of it, like whale rodeo or sky surfing.

You are not. You are not festooned in floaty white muslin, horse riding in across a sunset beach with your adoring partner and angelic children. You are scrolling through Instagram at work after a wet weekend in Dungeness. Your children can’t remember what you look like.

You don’t know why everyone wants to do handstands or yoga poses as soon as they hit the beach but you wish you did and you wish you could look that good doing it. Everyone is smiling all the time and there is so much wine. No one is sad and alone, like you.

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