Shameless narcissists still running world’s most powerful country
Melania Trump visited a children’s hospice today wearing a tall orange stovepipe hat emblazoned with the word ‘BOVVERED’.
The Slavic spybot greeted the ailing children with a cold stare and a rough approximation of a smile, making them feel worse than ever.
Later, while visiting the intensive care ward she removed her coat to reveal a red and white striped onesie which read ‘#NO FUCKS’ on the front and ‘RATHER YOU THAN ME’ on the reverse.
When questioned about the slogans and their appropriateness in the setting, Melania shook a devastatingly ill toddler at reporters, claiming the media should concentrate on the children and not be disproportionately fascinated by her solid gold codpiece, which spelt out ‘SORRY, NOT SORRY’ in rubies and sapphires.
Later the Donald tweeted: Good job Melanie, really great. While the fake news media were distracted I totally shipped ten thousand totally legal immigrants back to Guatemamalalaland and Knickersagua. Got the idea from that old British lady. Covfefe!
Melania is said to have been inspired to wear more slogan clothing after she accidentally swapped jackets with Liam Gallagher in an airport lounge last week.