Woman considers… teeth whitening

Shiny teeth make life better, thinks woman with too much time on hands

A woman has seriously considered whitening her teeth.

Susan Dreyfuss from East Sheen toyed with the idea eleven times over the last six months.

“I thought it would make me look fresh and young,” explained Dreyfuss. “I googled it once and saw that it was quite expensive so didn’t do anything about it, but then I thought about it again, googled it again and didn’t do anything about it then either.”

After more thinking and googling Dreyfuss decided she would brush her teeth harder and more often instead.

“I’m over that now, I don’t know what I was thinking” she said — blood spraying from her lips — and went back to ogling multimillion pound houses on rightmove.com.

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